In exactly 96 days, Ragen Chastain plans to swim 2.4 miles, bike 112 miles, and run a full marathon in under 17 hours at IRONMAN Arizona in Tempe, AZ. To date, she has yet to complete a triathlon of any length. Her entire endurance event experience consists of showing up woefully underprepared for IRONMAN 70.3 Arizona last October and failing to complete the swim, and gaming the rules at the 2013 Seattle Marathon to force volunteers to remain on the course until she finished in well over 12 hours “in a blur of pain”. Since she started her apparently intense daily 3-5 hour training regimen in May 2014, she has managed to drop out of a marathon, two super sprint triathlons, and cut the course at a novelty fun run 5K. Over the the last two years, her 5K PR has gone down from 1:09:50 to 1:05:51, still not quite managing to break into the elite sub-hour 5K nonagenarian class.
At the moment Ragen appears to be in a slump, coming off a long period of mysterious illness, and neglecting both her training and blogging as she did last summer. She is referring to the period between now and November as “miracle months” because she acknowledges it would take a miracle for her to have any hope of finishing the race. In over two years of training, she hasn’t shared a single meaningful piece of training data like a pace or time. Instead she continues to write meaningless “training updates” and post weekly collections of blurry close-ups of her face to somehow prove she is actually training for 3-5 hours every day and ready for an IRONMAN despite all evidence to the contrary. It is debatable how many of these photos are even genuine, given she is now stripping EXIF data and making them as generic as possible after being caught posting fake training selfies from EXIF data and even from background details. The one time Ragen has accidentally included EXIF data since then revealed that she considers gentle highway underpasses on a paved urban path to be incredibly steep hills, and that even the vague description she had given of her workout was a lie.
In honour of Fake Selfie Sunday returning to IronFat after a month-long hiatus, we’ve put together a compilation of almost every single IronFat selfie, arranged for smooth transitions. This should give you a good idea of how meaningful Ragen’s “training selfies” truly are compared to almost any other “athlete”.