In exactly 45 days, Ragen Chastain claims she will swim 2.4 miles, bike 112 miles, and run a full marathon in under 17 hours at IRONMAN Arizona in Tempe, AZ. Ragen has never completed a triathlon of any length, despite numerous promises to enter shorter events as part of her training since mid-2014. In fact, she went as far as registering and not showing up for two super sprint triathlons late last year. Her sole triathlon experience consists of entering IRONMAN 70.3 Arizona woefully unprepared and failing to complete the swim. Her only other “endurance” experience is gaming the rules at the 2013 Seattle Marathon to force volunteers to remain on the course while she took well over 12 hours to slowly shamble through it “in a blur of pain”.
Since May 2014, Ragen has supposedly been following an intense training regimen, spending 3-5 hours training every single day. In that time she has managed to drop out of a marathon, drop out of two super sprint triathlons, drop out of a 5K, and cut the course at a novelty fun run 5K. After several thousand claimed hours of training, Ragen’s only athletic achievement is lowering her 5K PR from 1:09:50 to a truly elite 1:05:51.
In our last update, we outlined the current known state of Ragen’s IRONMAN training, which makes it clear she has never demonstrated the fitness level or ability to complete any of the triathlon events. Since then, she has not posted a single thing about IronFat. In fact, her last update, a low effort piece about blisters at her failed 5K, was posted 46 days ago on August 21. She is now only three days short of the longest period ever between IronFat updates, which occurred after she gave up on training for some time after her disastrous effort in Tempe last October.
Ragen has been passing her time since August posting occasional angry rants about news pieces, often weeks after they have blown over. She couldn’t resist posting a brag about her organizational skills for the Fat Activism Conference with typical exaggerated numbers, despite no longer appearing on the list of organizers or giving any kind of talk as she did in previous years. In fact, it would appear one of her few remaining responsibilities is handling the money, which is unfortunate given her poor track record of financial accountability. As usual she has turned the conference into a passive income source, fulfilling her goal of “money for nothing and chicks for free”. To maximize profits, she again used a budget teleconference service, leading to the usual technical issues that have plagued the conference every year.
Even Ragen’s fans have been getting antsy about her lack of updates.
At this point it is not at all clear whether Ragen will actually show up for IMAZ this year. It has been 46 days since she last mentioned training, and at that time it was not going well. It is difficult to imagine her passing up an opportunity to enter the oppression olympics again, but we seriously have wonder whether she will be taking advantage of the IRONMAN full refund plan. With only 45 days until IMAZ, it won’t take long to find out.