Throwback Wednesday: July 11, 2003

Ragen has been mysteriously ill for the last few weeks, and IronFat updates have ground to a halt. The regular pity party about trolls and haters continues on Dances with Fat. Until things pick up, we will be plumbing the depths of Ragen’s old LiveJournal again for more little tidbits from her past. We’ve also taken a page from Ragen’s book and decided to not feel constrained by labels like the correct day of the week for a post.

In today’s throwback from 2003, Ragen the 27 year old queer rights activist tells us about the one person she would kill if she could get away with it.

3) If you could kill one person and get away with it, who would it be and how would you do it?
I will be good I will be good I will be good. I would kill George W. Bush. I would hire a well hung gay man to sodomize him to death–Legally :).


Ragen Chastain, Trained Researcher

Ragen has always emphasized her academic achievements as part of her self-promotion as an expert on obesity. She frequently describes herself as a “trained researcher” and talks about her time at UT Austin where she studied “administration and policy” or “research methods and statistical analysis”. Her Dances with Fat biography currently includes brags about high school athletics and how she was a National Merit Scholar and her class valedictorian. To an uninformed reader she gives the impression of an extremely successful academic scholar whose qualifications and expertise allow her to speak with authority on subjects like body weight and health, and the impossibility of weight loss.

Ragen the Elite High School Student

Ragen’s bizarre academic history goes back to her childhood. She claims she attended 18 different schools growing up because her father was so unpleasant he was constantly fired from jobs and had to move the family around. She skipped Grade 8 and “graduated” from Lyme Central high school in two years. Her family then moved moved to Three Forks, MT, and for some unknown reason Ragen was forced to complete another four years of high school. No explanation for this has ever been provided. In 2006, one of her major life accomplishments was having several teachers and administrators fired from her new high school.

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By Ragen’s own account, she was the most successful high school student in the entire history of secondary education. She participated in so many activities she was at school from 7am to 8pm every day in addition to many hours of daily practice as a teenage professional-level clarinet soloist as well as working as a waitress in her last years and recovering from a devastating fractured patella.

Some of Ragen’s lesser school activities included choirs, bands, musical theatre, drill team, and so on. She was a member of her high school’s varsity volleyball team, an all-state athlete for all six years of high school, spent hours doing serious weight training and cardio every day, and even became a professional aerobics instructor before graduating. In fact, she was such a successful athlete and scholar that she was wildly popular and never teased for her weight or “shoved into lockers”. Every summer, Ragen was a lifeguard and “always won the annual lifeguard races” while making time for soccer, baseball, jazz dance, horse riding, and other athletic endeavours. In addition to being a clarinet virtuoso, Ragen was an all-state band member with her clarinet, and played flute, piccolo, saxophone, and piano at the state competition level. She was a trained opera singer and sang the lead role in Carmen, but gave it up to become her school’s cheerleading captain. As her school’s most accomplished musician, she apparently even taught elementary school music classes to make up for a teaching staff shortfall.

On the academic side, Ragen was was a mathlete, in Science Olympiad, Odyssey of the Mind, Trig-star, and won national Scholastic writing contests. She graduated with a perfect GPA as a National Merit Scholar and her class valedictorian.

Ragen the Musician

Heading into college, Ragen was on course to continue her wildly successful academic career by fulfilling her childhood dream of becoming a professional clarinet player and playing Carnegie Hall. She claims she received a full scholarship to attend the UT Austin music performance major program, where she was again incredibly successful in her studies, playing at Carnegie Hall with the University of Texas Wind Ensemble at their 1998 New York debut, a performance actually available on CD. It is not possible to verify this claim, and as usual Ragen supplies no details or evidence to support it, simply a vague description. She recently wrote an “inspirational” story about how she gave up on playing the clarinet. After having misgivings about her upcoming career as a professional musician, she completed her junior recital, received top marks and was showered with flowers and praise, then packed up her clarinet and never played it again, giving up on her degree a year short of graduation.

During Ragen’s initial years in the UT Austin music program starting in Fall 1995, she claims she was at her lowest adult weight of 135 lbs and 7% body fat, in the throes of her eating disorder, anorexia nervosa and compulsive exercise. For years she somehow managed to maintain her professional bodybuilder physique while taking a full course load, participating in ensembles, practicing her clarinet for several hours, and spending 8-10 hours at the gym every single day, all while eating only 1100 calories. As usual, Ragen’s accounting of her time management defies all logic and reason, and again brings into question the true details of her “eating disorder” and all her various exaggerated accomplishments. Ragen appears to have acknowledged this, and no longer supplies any specific details of her eating disorder in interviews.

Ragen the Social Worker

By Fall 2001, Ragen was a senior in Social Work. At this point it becomes easier to verify her claims through her own writing and secondary sources, and the contrast between her true “success” before and after is quite apparent. In 2006 she claimed she chose the “administration and policy track” for the social work program. In a recent interview she instead claimed it was the “community and policy” track. As usual she is unable to maintain a consistent narrative, but additionally, the Bachelor of Social Work major program has no academic tracks. Only the Master of Science in Social Work program has degree tracks, now called “Administration and Social Policy Practice” and “Clinical Studies”. These have historically gone under other names, but it would appear that Ragen simply made up the “administration and policy” claim in 2006 to promote her administrative skills for Total Administrative Solutions, her office organization business. Examining the undergraduate degree requirements, it’s clear where Ragen’s claims about expertise in “research methods” and the like come from: she was required to take basic social work research methods and statistics courses.

Ragen the Passionless

Despite apparently being in her last year of studies in the social work program in Fall 2001, UT Austin records show Ragen’s last term was Spring 2002, when she failed to graduate and did not receive a degree. In 2003, she wrote a blog post about re-enrolling in college to complete her degree. By this time she was a “government major with minors in Music Performance, Social Work and Nutrition”, and was still a full year of credit hours away from graduating, despite attending college for 7 years. She had a conversation with an advisor where she explained that she had no passion for any academic field whatsoever, and didn’t care what she studied as long as she received a degree. UT Austin records show Ragen never actually re-enrolled.

“Went to see the Advisor today, O* is very nice man, really wanted to help me find a major that I was passionate about. One problem, I don’t give a crap what my major is, I want to graduate. The following is what ensued:

o-what are your goals?
s-I want to graduate as soon as possible
O*=what do you want to study
S=whatever will get me out of here the fastest
O=right, but what are you passionate about
O-but what do you want to learn
S-I know this must be frustrating for you, but I’m not interested in studying something that I’m passionate about, I just want to get my bachelors and move on.

Ragen the Dance Major

In late 2008, Ragen again mentioned re-enrolling in college, this time to pursue a dance degree. She didn’t meet the height and weight requirements for the program, but was confident she would have no trouble being accepted once she received multiple “world championship” titles. Records show Ragen did not win any remotely meaningful dance awards after 2005, and she eventually gave up on competitive dancing because her weight made it impossible to continue. She never mentioned going back to college again, and both posts were carefully removed when she transferred her blog to WordPress, then deleted when her old LiveJournal accounts were discovered by “trolls”.


Ragen the Trained Researcher

In 2011, Ragen started referring to herself as a “trained researcher”, then quickly added it to her official biography. She makes every effort to conceal the fact she has no degree, like calling herself a “UT Austin alum” and frequently referencing college experiences and classes she took while studying “administration and policy” or “statistics”. In an interview last March, the host specifically asked her about her degree, and Ragen avoided the question.

After 7 years of college, Ragen has nothing real to show for herself. She brags about high school achievements and does everything possible short of outright lying to give the impression of having received a degree. She is a college dropout who dabbled in several degrees and never finished anything she started, a habit she has demonstrated over and over again in both her employment and “activism”. By the time she finally gave up for good, Ragen Chastain the “trained researcher” was proud of not having a single real passion in higher education.

A Rude Awakening

A reader recently left a comment that will probably resonate with anyone who has ever attempted to interact with Ragen. As we all know, Ragen operates in a “safe space” on the internet where she is in complete control over the content. This allows her to simply delete any criticism or dissenting opinions under the guise of protecting her readers from “trolls”. It also means she can make up stories about receiving thousands of death threats and hate messages, despite the fact she is a virtual nobody on platforms like Twitter where she can’t control what other people say.

In this case, Ragen selectively removed a series of comments to make it appear as if a poster were a racist, “as an example of exactly what not to do, and to preserve the work of those who tried to educate her”. Ragen has written a number of times about how she edits or deletes blog comments then blocks people so they can’t defend themselves, and she does exactly the same thing on Facebook when faced with any kind of criticism. This person was a diehard Ragen fan who had been following her enthusiastically for several years. The moment she stepped out of line, Ragen threw her under a bus. This has become a regular pattern for Ragen – many readers will be familiar with the fate of Twistie, her #1 blog commenter. The problem for anyone who falls afoul of Ragen is that she is not interested in any kind of debate or dissent; she wants unconditional praise and adulation, and above all else money to fuel her unemployed “activist” lifestyle. The only people Ragen really cares about are the ones who give her money. This from the person who recently claimed she is frequently called upon to engage in public debate and defend her outspoken views.

Here’s what happens if you disagree with Ragen Chastain.

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Ragen Chastain, Professional Aerobics Instructor?

In a recent rant about Jillian Michaels, Ragen claims she started “teaching aerobics” in the early 90s, when she was between 12 and 16 years old, right before she developed her elite eating disorder. It matches up nicely with her claim that she started participating in “serious” daily cardio and weight training at age 12. At some unknown point between 1990 and when she started blogging in 2002, she claims she became a AFAA-certified aerobics instructor, and that it was “more than a hobby” and she was a professional with numerous clients.

It seems pretty unlikely Ragen was a professional aerobics instructor in high school, or that she had much in the way of spare time to teach anything at all. During all six years of high school, she claims she was simultaneously a volleyball player, lifeguard, all-state multisport varsity athlete, cheerleading captain, professional-level clarinet soloist in the school band, virtuoso on several other instruments, elementary school music teacher, opera singer and musical theatre star who sang all the lead roles, and so on; all of this while maintaining a 4.0 GPA and becoming a National Merit Scholar and her class valedictorian. Of course, she also had time for leisure activities like having a several staff members at her high school fired, and disrupting Sunday school every week until age 16.

We can be fairly certain Ragen wasn’t an aerobics instructor during the period of her elite eating disorder from about 1994-1997, prior to and during her early years of college. She claims throughout this period she lost a grand total of 15 lbs and became a ripped bodybuilder at 135 lbs and 7% body fat, despite eating only 1100 calories and exercising for 8-10 hours every day. That certainly doesn’t match up with a later humblebrag about being the only fat aerobics instructor clients would hire because she was so amazingly good at it like everything else she does.

By 2002 when Ragen started blogging, she was clearly no longer an aerobics instructor, and the AFFA was not mentioned again until 2011, when she wrote about having previously been certified and that she intended to to re-certify. Not long after, she wrote yet another rant about Jillian Michaels and The Biggest Loser and proclaimed she would not re-certify because of their association with the AFAA. Bizarrely, in 2014 she referred to herself as a currently AFAA-certified fitness instructor in her speaking engagement fluff bios on multiple occasions, then abruptly stopped and hasn’t mentioned it again since then.

So when was Ragen a professional AFAA-certified fitness instructor? Was it in the twilight zone of her later college years while she was busy failing at her academics, gaining weight during inpatient VLCD treatment, and being a social justice warrior on the path to becoming the world’s most renowned queer rights activist? The AFAA will not confirm or deny whether an individual is certified without their consent, so anyone can claim to be AFAA-certified; as usual it seems we have to take Ragen’s word on it that at some vague point in her past she was a fitness instructor, and that she is not exaggerating beyond all reason or simply lying as she has on so many occasions.

When it comes down to it, Ragen is yet again bragging about something she supposedly did in high school. Has Ragen done anything of note since she was a teenager other than getting extremely fat? Moreover, has Ragen ever provided even the tiniest shred of evidence she was the world’s most successful high school student?

The Worst Reason to Lose Weight?

Today’s fat rant brings us “the worst reason to lose weight”. It’s not weight loss for health; it’s not weight loss for vanity; no, according to Ragen, it’s weight loss to avoid emotional baggage and fat hate, as described in the “marketing literature” for a mysterious weight loss product Ragen refuses to identify.

Heavier people are often teased and taunted starting in childhood and continuing for the rest of their lives.  These insults can cause early emotional wounds that get ripped back open with every new jab and joke. [Insert Product Name] can give you a life free from this emotional baggage!

This “marketing literature” appears nowhere on the internet. We can only assume Ragen either received it as junk mail for a weight loss treatment scam, or more likely simply wrote it herself. Either way, Ragen is employing her standard alarmist straw man technique to misrepresent it as a typical example of weight loss marketing or reasoning for promoting weight loss; an issue so serious it deserves a long post. Is avoiding emotional baggage and fat hate a common weight loss marketing technique? Are GPs and other heath providers telling their patients to lose weight for this reason? A quick Google search shows a handful of fat acceptance bloggers who equate any kind of weight loss advice for children with legitimizing bullying and fat hate, but no real examples of companies marketing this way. Without even getting into Ragen’s ridiculous example of the progression of “bullying” (really, head in the toilet?), her line of reasoning here is about the same as complaining that this email picked from the author’s spam folder represents how medical treatment for erectile dysfunction is typically marketed to men.

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But Ragen has already laid the groundwork and “proven” weight loss is impossible and doesn’t improve health, so it’s necessary for her to dig deeper and find the true motivation for societal fat shaming to keep her endless stream of blog drivel going. Ragen’s entire persona and much of her writing and speaking about body weight issues hinge on these points. She expects the reader to take it as a matter of fact that weight loss is impossible and body weight is totally unrelated to health. There is no debate, no discussion, just Ragen’s “trained researcher” opinion that she is right and all the scientific literature is wrong other than a few papers she cherry picks and misrepresents. Everything stems from these simple concepts. If one truly believes body weight is an immutable physical characteristic that has no influence on health, then a lot of what Ragen writes starts to make sense. Why should doctors badger their patients over something they can’t control that doesn’t even matter? Why shouldn’t society accommodate people at any size no matter the cost? These questions are preposterous to most people, but completely serious to Ragen and her believers.

When it comes down to it, Ragen is a professional apologist: she makes a living selling denial and excuses to an eager audience desperate for validation of their poor lifestyle choices. She spreads lies and misinformation to eke out a living and allow her to further her own narcissism and self-denial. Ragen joined the “sixty billion dollar a year diet industry” in 2002, and Dances with Fat is just the latest embodiment of her continuing get rich quick scheme. This blog may be dismissed as a “hater blog”, but to paraphrase another blogger, we aren’t the ones asking for money at the bottom of every post.

[Sticky] The Truth about Ragen Chastain

[Note to readers: please see the related post, Is Ragen wrong about everything?]

In Ragen’s recent drama post about “stalkers” at her IRONMAN 70.3, she claims the only criticism she ever receives is “trolls” demanding explanations for certain minor and unimportant details from her past. She goes on to theorize about why she receives so much “abuse”.

Often they try to justify their trolling – they say I deserve it because they disagree with me that fat people should be treated like human beings, or they disagree with the science behind HAES, or they believe me to be a liar/fraud/devil incarnate, one simile-happy troll recently compared me to Joe Camel.

This blog as well as Reddit and GOMI are overwhelmingly the main sources of true criticism about Ragen. Regular readers of all these sites will of course realize nobody agrees with the ridiculous notion that fat people shouldn’t be treated like human beings. However, the “science” of HAES as interpreted by Ragen is absolutely disputed, and Ragen has been shown to be a fraud and liar on many occasions. Both the latter points are completely valid criticisms of someone claiming to be an internationally recognized thought leader and expert on the obesity who has devoted her life to “activism” and is supposedly one of the most hated women on the internet because of her outspoken views.

Since Ragen appears to believe nobody has any valid criticism of her ideas and actions, we have compiled a list of issues we feel are important, most of which come from the archives of this blog. None of these criticisms hinge on Ragen’s current weight, nor do they disagree with or negate the positive aspects of fat acceptance and Ragen’s own activism. They do call into question her expertise on the science of obesity, her history of dishonest crowdfunding and solicitation of donations, the accuracy of her claims about a wide variety of subjects such as her athletics and the “harassment” she faces, and most importantly her profound lack of integrity. We publicly invite blog readers as well as Ms. Chastain to respond.

Medical Advice and Obesity Research

Dr. Ragen Chastain, MD

Ragen recently told a woman facing permanent blindness from from a medical condition that almost exclusively affects obese women to ignore her doctor’s advice and the position of the National Eye Institute, and demand a “thin person” treatment rather than attempt to lose just 5% of her weight. Ragen is totally unwilling to concede weight loss may improve a medical condition, or that significant weight loss is even achievable, so she told the woman that following her doctor’s recommendation of modest weight loss would most likely make her condition worse. A few weeks later, Ragen made it clear she had never even bothered to research the condition in a Dances with Fat post where she discussed the same condition with a different name.

This is only one of many examples of Ragen dispensing highly inappropriate medical advice. She even sells a postcard for people to show their doctors outlining her blanket denial of the health effects of obesity, and demanding they go against their medical standards and ethics and totally ignore body weight when diagnosing and determining the correct course of treatment.

Bad Science

Ragen does not believe obesity has any direct influence on health. Instead, health is dictated by genetics, environmental factors, blind luck, and the “healthy habits” of eating fruits and vegetables, not smoking, not drinking to excess, and occasionally getting 30 minutes of moderate exercise. Health is also not an obligation, so anyone should feel free to live an unhealthy life. Permanent weight loss is impossible, and any weight loss attempt will inevitably lead to regain and further weight increases. Since “correlation never implies causation” (Ragen’s abuse of this concept is a subject that deserves its separate post), it’s just as likely diabetes and other “obesity complications” actually cause obesity, rather than the other way around. And finally, any negative health effects of obesity that can’t be explained by another excuse are simply the stress of weight stigma from living in a fatphobic society.

The amount of doublethink necessary to accept so many conflicting ideas is quite astounding, but this sort of thinking forms the core of Ragen’s positions about medical science as well as society’s obligation to fully accommodate people of any size.

A good example of Ragen’s “research” is a study she frequently cites about the relationship between fitness, obesity, and health as proof obesity isn’t actually unhealthy. She fails to acknowledge the study subjects were at most mildly obese men, makes several inaccurate or misleading statements about the research, then inappropriately extrapolates the results to women who are hundreds of pounds overweight. Ragen’s armchair science analysis and cherry picking of this study and many others is fatally flawed by her own personal bias against admitting obesity may be unhealthy, but she refuses to address or even acknowledge any academic criticism. Instead she compares herself to Galileo and says she is bravely defending the truth in the face of all the evidence to the contrary from the fatphobic science community who are all in the pockets of the “sixty billion dollar a year diet industry”.

We also note Ragen generally only cites abstracts when referencing research, and since she has no position in academia, we question whether she actually has access to the full text of many of the journal papers mentioned on her blog.

Fake Credentials

Ragen titles herself with the academic-sounding credentials of “trained researcher”, says she “studied” various majors at UT Austin, refers to herself as a “UT alum”, and frequently talks about classes she took like “research methods” and “statistics”. University records and Ragen’s own Livejournal posts paint a decidedly unflattering picture of her lack of interest in academics, and show she attended UT Austin for a total of 7 years and never received a degree.

Ragen’s conduct in this respect is extremely misleading by even the most generous interpretation, and extremely dishonest in our opinion. She is presenting herself as a “trained” academic and expert on research methods, statistical analysis, and the science of obesity, who can be trusted over “biased” sources like the National Institute of Health. In reality, she is a college dropout who tried a number of different majors without achieving anything, and was proud of not having a single real passion in higher education.

Crowdfunding and Donations

Lack of Financial Transparency

It has now been 3 years, 8 months, and 16 days since Ragen promised full financial disclosure of the $21,000 raised for her “Support All Kids” billboards. Rather than posting this information as promised, she quickly removed almost all evidence of her involvement as well as the web site created for the campaign itself. Furthermore, the only evidence the billboards ever existed is a single photo of a bus shelter posted by one of her Facebook friends in Atlanta. This sort of lack of any real financial transparency as well as abandonment of projects paid for by others are typical of Ragen’s activism work.

Misuse of Donated Funds

In Our Own Words: A Fat Activist History was supposed to be a “verbal history” of the fat activism movement. On the GoFundMe page, Ragen promised to interview prominent fat activists as well as people of all walks of life underrepresented in fat activism. She posted a list of 15 women who had agreed to be interviewed, with the implication of further interviews to follow.

Instead, Ragen paid herself almost $2,200, and created a boilerplate WordPress site with a grand total of three short rambling interviews with atrocious video quality. She uncharacteristically broke down her expenses in great detail, but neglects to mention she spent $900 of the donation money on her salary and expenses for a trip to Florida to visit Lynn McAfee for an interview she never even conducted. At the height of the project while donations were still coming in, she claimed to have interviewed several other people such as Marilyn Wann, but as of today no further videos have surfaced. The last update was in October 2013, when Ragen said she planned to “continue working on the first phase of the project in ways that do not incur additional hard costs”.

Another infamous unfinished Ragen project funded by donations is the Size Diversity Task Force world record diet book papier-mâché ball, which was announced almost three years ago. Ragen accepted donations, organized a group to buy books and an “activism event” to create the ball, then nothing further happened. There have been no updates for almost two years, and as of today she is still asking for donations even though it is abundantly clear she has no intention of ever completing it.

A common theme in Ragen’s donation and crowdfunding is starting with big ideas, collecting as much money as possible, doing as little work as possible, then quietly washing her hands of the whole thing. In the past, Ragen made no secret about wanting “money for nothing and chicks for free“, her way of expressing a desire to live on passive income with as little work as possible. As with her disastrous IRONMAN attempt and almost all of her various achievements, she is judged on the idea and initial effort rather than the result, and never expected to actually fulfill her promises.

Fraudulent Solicitation

While soliciting donations in December 2012, Ragen wrote on Facebook that Size Diversity Task Force is a nonprofit 501(c)(3), which to the best of our knowledge is false, presumably making it a criminal offense. Since at present Ragen does not appear to operate a nonprofit or tax-exempt organization, we also question whether her donors realize they are funding Ragen’s personal income and for-profit businesses when they make a donation or contribute to her crowdfunding campaigns.

Inconsistent Stories

5,000 Little Lies

Ragen claims she was a victim of an organized attack campaign in 2012 where she was bombarded with 5,000 blog comments telling her to kill herself. She is totally unable to keep the details of this story consistent, and in every subsequent retelling she further exaggerates major details to the point it bears little semblance to the original. She recently started blaming Reddit for the “attack” even though it happened at least a year before the first time she was mentioned on the site. The evidence clearly shows Ragen didn’t receive anywhere close to 5,000 blog comments of any kind during this time period. This incident is a work of pure fiction and calls into question every single claim Ragen has ever made about the level of online harassment she faces from her “haters”.

Fat Shaming Doctors

Ragen is similarly inconsistent with the fat shaming knee doctor story. This encounter originated as a hypothetical story in her “Dealing at the Doctor’s Office” ebook, and quickly became a favourite piece she has rewritten several times. The narrative differences between each retelling are so great we don’t believe any version of this story is an accurate account of an interaction Ragen had with a doctor. There is also no plausible timeframe for this story to have taken place since Ragen’s activities are well-documented on her blogs going back as far as 2002. Finally, it is telling that neither Ragen nor her hypothetical doctor ever mentions highly relevant details like her shattered kneecap and knee implant.

To be clear, there is nothing wrong with openly using a hypothetical situation to illustrate a point; Ragen presents this story and numerous other similar encounters with “fat shamers” in the medical establishment and society in general as faithful narrations. Given Ragen’s propensity for exaggeration and outright lying, it’s difficult to tell what is real and what is fiction on her blogs.

Misleading Claims and Outright Lies

Ragen’s Eating Disorder

One of Ragen’s most outrageous claims are the original details of her “eating disorder”. In recent years, she has been careful to not give specific numbers, but in the past she was extremely specific: for several years, she ate exactly 1100 calories (5 grams fat, 3 grams saturated) and exercised for up to 8-10 hours every day, before eventually collapsing on a treadmill at the gym and being hospitalized. Instead of becoming dangerously emaciated or dying like a normal person, she magically stopped losing weight and maintained the physique of a professional bodybuilder at 135 pounds and only 7% body fat. Upon her hospitalization and treatment for an eating disorder and “all the stress fractures”, she was placed on a restrictive diet by her doctors because they failed to recognize the exquisite specimen of the human form lying on the bed in front of them. She then gained 100 pounds within months.

When questioned by an incredulous host about whether she overeats and whether her eating disorder story was plausible during a 2009 radio interview, Ragen’s response was “my body does what it does”. Her entire weight loss history is full of similarly impossible claims, like gaining a pound a week during strict inpatient VLCD treatment while eating under 800 calories because she wasn’t allowed to exercise. Ragen uses her eating disorder as a major talking point in her activism, but it’s debatable whether she ever had an eating disorder at all, given most of the details she has shared about it are clearly impossible.

Fake Training Selfies

Throughout her IRONMAN 70.3 preparation, Ragen faced intense criticism over her lack of meaningful training updates, and skepticism over whether she was genuinely training as much as she claimed. Instead of sharing even the most basic details of her “proprietary” training plan, Ragen started posting weekly batches of training selfies to prove she was actually training. Analysis of GPS timestamps showed a number of her photos were taken only minutes apart, and Ragen had simply changed outfits and moved to different areas of her home to create the illusion of doing several different workouts. The evidence also showed she had specifically attempted to erase the timestamps to conceal her actions. She was caught doing the same thing in two further updates before finally learning how to properly strip image metadata, after which she was caught again by other means.

There is simply no defence because it was so blatantly obvious. It speaks to Ragen’s sincerity about her claims of weekly half-century bike rides, 24 mile long runs, “3-5 hours” of training every day, and so on. When questioned about it publicly by a Facebook “troll”, Ragen realized her followers had seen the comment before it was deleted and immediately shot back with a completely irrelevant straw man argument, followed by a litany of new claims of harassment to distract attention from what she did. She has yet to actually address the fake training selfies, and recently started posting more selfies with a huge disclaimer about removing all details to protect herself from “trolls” who want to rape and murder her.

Impossible Scheduling

Ragen has made some rather specific statements about how she spends her time doing activism every day. For instance, she writes detailed replies to an average of over 320 emails every single day (exactly 78,138 emails over 245 days); this may seem reasonable at first glance, but doing the math, it equates to an utterly ludicrous 11 hours of sustained effort, allowing just 2 minutes per email. She also says she spends at least 2 hours every day writing a blog post, 3-5 hours exercising, and significant amounts of time dealing with hundreds of abusive hate mails, several hundred Facebook messages, and all her other activism and athletic activities. Even her 30 small acts of activism every day add up.

Allowing even minimal time to eat and sleep, it’s simply impossible to reconcile these numbers with the 24 hours in a single day, but every month Ragen dutifully sends out a newsletter to her blog subscribers updating them on exactly how many new email requests she has replied to. This kind of ridiculous exaggeration of verifiably false details is indicative of the accuracy of similarly over the top claims only Ragen herself can verify, like the truly incredible volume of hate mail she supposedly receives.

“National Dance Champion”

Ragen describes herself as a “three time national dance champion” as evidence she is an elite professional “fathlete”. She has consistently refused to reveal any details about these titles when questioned, and the reason became obvious when her “haters” tracked down her results last year. Two of her dance titles are considered non-competitive social dancing for beginner students by the standards of the small pay-to-win dance circuit where she received them, and the third is at the lowest possible tier of novice competition. Ragen faced only one or two other couples in all cases because there is limited attendance at these extremely low levels. Also, the ACDA “national dance championships” have no pre-qualifying and are open to anyone who chooses to attend; they are “national championships” in name alone.

After 2005, Ragen spent several years attempting to compete at a more meaningful level without any success. Every year she posted about her plans to become a “masters champion”, or win big world championship titles, and every year she failed to win anything at any competitive event. On a number of occasions she bemoaned the fact her weight was making it impossible. Eventually she gave up on competitive dancing and simply declared herself a professional athlete. Ragen intentionally misrepresents how meaningful her non-competitive “national dance championships” are, and made every effort to keep their details a secret.Her CV is full of similar exaggerations, embellishments, and outright lies that go far beyond typical resume massaging. She also uses her dance titles to bolster the claim she is an elite fat athlete, when she herself admitted her weight was the reason she couldn’t advance further.

Elite Athletics

Ragen has made numerous claims about her athleticism over the years. As a child, she did ballet, jazz, horse riding, competitive figure skating, volleyball, soccer, baseball, gymnastics, and drill team. She was a cheerleading captain, multi-sport varsity athlete, and “all-state” athlete for all six years of high school. She was a lifeguard every year and “always won the annual lifeguard races”. As an adult she became a certified fitness instructor, personal trainer, and gym rat, spending several hours at the gym every day. She is now a professional athlete “in the top 5% in the country in strength, stamina, flexibility, and all medical markers of health” who maintains perfect bloodwork and blood pressure. She can leg press 1000 lbs, do hundreds of pushups at a time, complete 25 minute sessions of HIIT at 95% HRmax, and so on. She spends 3-5 hours training for her IRONMAN every single day.

And yet, whenever Ragen’s athletic abilities are on public display, her results are totally inconsistent with her claims. Her 5K personal record places her lower than the beginner baseline for an octogenarian. The only way she managed to complete a marathon was by specifically finding an event with no time limit and slowly ambling through the course in over 12 hours. She took 4 hours longer than the 77 year old woman who finished before her, but spent much of the race in a “blur of pain”. At her IRONMAN she didn’t even make it past the generous swim cut-off after over a year of intense preparation far beyond any typical half-IRONMAN training program. These are simply not the results of someone who puts in 3-5 hours every day, works with three separate professional trainers, and claims to have attained “what is considered to be an elite level of health and fitness“.

Ragen’s claims of health, fitness, and elite athleticism are a major component of her fat activism. As an elite professional athlete, national dance champion, marathoner, and IRONMAN competitor she considers herself living proof obesity has no impact on health or athletic ability. If she is truly training for as long as she claims, then we contend all she is doing is proving exactly the opposite, yet she is never expected to actually live up to her claims; showing up for an event she is totally unprepared for and failing miserably is somehow considered a major victory. The reality is Ragen’s claims about her athletic abilities and the amount of time she puts into training are just as fake as everything else about her manufactured persona.

Harassment and Stalking

Haters and Trolls

As noted previously, Ragen claims she receives around 73,000 hate mails every year, in addition to daily credible death threats and “graphic threats of violence and rape”. She also claims she has been doxxed, had maps to her home posted online, had people attempt to hack her Garmin Connect account, and so on. Conveniently, all her thousands of online trolls only contact her by email and blog comments that nobody else can see; meanwhile she is almost totally unknown on open social media platforms like Twitter where she has no control over the content. She may be the only public figure on the entire internet who is only trolled in private. Either Ragen’s “trolls” are remarkably stupid, or this is part of her continuing pattern of wild exaggeration about almost every aspect of her life. After the 5,000 Little Lies incident, all evidence points to the latter.

“IRL” Stalkers

In her IRONMAN race report, Ragen claims a mysterious Redditor approached her and had a “creepy” conversation, then later speculates in “paranoia” the same Redditor may have assaulted her during the swim. She implies the mystery man is one of the authors of this blog and refers to him as a “stalker”, which prompted enormous concern from her followers, and calls to contact the police for her personal safety. Based on photos and accounts from several sources, Ragen spent the entire morning being followed by a camera crew recording everything she did, yet she can provide no evidence of this interaction, and fails to even mention the camera crew in any of her IRONMAN posts. In this case, Ragen’s response to criticism is to make vague allegations of extremely serious illegal activities to silence her critics, exactly as predicted beforehand.

Ragen also claims she reported the events of the day, and the perpetrators are being “monitored”. To whom or where she reported this, and whether she actually believes any crimes were committed remains a mystery. On a related note, Ragen claims the Long Beach Police Department doesn’t take credible threats against her life seriously and will only act on the death threats she receives every day if someone actually attempts to murder her. She later expanded on this point by making the totally ridiculous claim she may one day become a literal martyr for fat acceptance.

The level of “stalking” Ragen faces pales in comparison to the absolutely horrifying stories shared by real stalking victims on this blog. The most serious claim she can make backed up by any real evidence is that a curious local resident took a few photos of her at a public event and posted them online. Ragen has spun online criticism and a minor encounter as a public figure with a camera crew into a story where she faces constant danger from trolls, haters, stalkers, murderers, and rapists at every turn. Using false or exaggerated claims of stalking to garner sympathy is certainly a new low even by Ragen’s standards.

Double Standards

On a number of occasions, Ragen has provided detailed contact information to her blog readers, and instructed them to harass individuals and report them to their employers and accreditation organizations. She calls this “activism”, but turns around and complains of “harassment” and “stalking” if anyone attempts to contact her and express concerns or criticism. Ragen’s double standards for “activism” are remarkably hypocritical.

Email Campaigns

Continuing from the previous item, in recent weeks Ragen has been claiming that for the last few years, whenever she is hired to speak somewhere, she is the target of an organized “email writing campaign” where emails are sent to the entire staff of wherever she is speaking in attempt to discredit her. According to Ragen, she always emerges victorious because of her spotless reputation, which prompted the escalation to “stalking” by her frustrated trolls. As usual, there is no evidence for this claim other than Ragen’s word, even though it is easy to document and prove. There are no public petitions or campaigns to have her banned from campuses; no comments on Facebook or Twitter posts about her speaking engagements; no posts on Reddit, GOMI, 4chan, or Voat; no posts or comments on this blog. At this point we believe it’s safe to say the “email campaigns” are either another work of fiction or again exaggerated beyond reason for the purposes of manufacturing controversy.

Other Questions

Ragen has made some truly bizarre claims in the past. She completely seriously claims she was sold for air conditioners in Mali and can never visit or she will “not legally be allowed to leave“. At one time she claimed to be a psychic who could remotely assault people with her mind. She spent six years finishing high school because of a mysterious “no skipping grades” policy and then had most of the administration at her high school fired. She even claims she personally drew up the incorporation documents for Destiny’s Child. It just goes on. Everyone has things they’d rather forget in their past, but Ragen was a grown woman in her late 20s when she wrote all of this and more.

There is one particular forgotten item of Ragen’s past that merits further attention. When Ragen switched blogging platforms to WordPress for her Dances with Fat blog, she went back and carefully deleted over a year of Livejournal posts to conceal the fact she sold MLM weight loss products in 2002 and hoped to make an annual salary of over $250,000. Ragen constantly complains about the “sixty billion dollar a year diet industry” while concealing the obvious conflict of interest that she herself was a part of it until she realized it wouldn’t make her rich.

On a personal note, the authors of this blog find it particularly distasteful that Ragen frequently refers to herself as the “standard of beauty” and “a regulation hottie” in Mali, a country ravaged by poverty and malnutrition she once wrote would be better off if aliens took it.


After failing at college, Ragen flitted about from one business venture to another, leaving a string of failed businesses in her wake. Eventually she discovered Health at Every Size, realized it aligned with her own personal failings, and decided to monetize it. She now makes her living peddling her particular brand of slacktivism. She pretends she is an expert on obesity, dispenses shockingly poor medical advice, and accepts many thousands of dollars in donations for projects she has no intention of completing.

Above all, Ragen lies. She lies about her achievements, about her athletic abilities, about her credentials, and about her personal experiences. She lies about her eating disorder, about her IRONMAN training, and about all the “activism” she does every day. She constantly lies about the harassment she faces on all fronts for her outspoken views. Ragen lies, because in truth she is a sad failure who gave up on all her dreams and built a career around a carefully manufactured fake persona that is so pathetic nobody even thought to call her on it.

As we’ve said before, there are some positive elements to HAES and fat acceptance in general. These movements deserve a better “thought leader” than a con artist like Ragen. And that’s the truth about Ragen Chastain.

Helpful Phrases at the Doctor’s Office

Ragen sells a handy “doctor’s office survival packet” that includes printed postcards outlining her all-or-nothing position that weight loss is impossible and weight regain is inevitable. It demands treatment that goes against medical standards and ethics, and assumes obesity has no effect on health and is itself untreatable. In all cases, Ragen requests a “thin person” treatment, even for conditions that almost exclusively affect obese people.

Source: Dances with Fat

To highlight why this is an issue, consider how it looks when applied to other major lifestyle-induced medical issues. Why bother quitting smoking if the majority of people don’t succeed on their first attempt? What is the “non-alcoholic” treatment for liver cirrhosis? Ragen’s advice makes about as much sense as Health at Every Smoke and Health at Every Shot.



Is Ragen wrong about everything?

Ragen frames any kind of criticism of her as an attack on the core concepts of fat acceptance, or even a misogynistic attack on all women in general. For example, in her recent “stalkers” post, she claimed all her “trolls” disagree with her radical idea that “fat people should be treated like human beings”.

Is Ragen actually wrong about everything? The answer is no, of course not. Anyone with common sense and empathy understands the core concepts of fat acceptance are perfectly reasonable. Fat people are human beings and entitled to as much (or as little) respect as anyone else. Fat people shouldn’t be afraid to get out and live their lives (from personal experience, it’s very easy to fall into the trap of “I’ll do ____ when I’m thin”). And losing weight and keeping it off is hard, even though CICO (calories in, calories out) is a very simple concept. On this blog there is no criticism of overweight or obese individuals simply for living their lives or wanting the same standard of respect as others. The idea there is a misogynistic conspiracy against Ragen is also particularly galling, considering the founder of this blog is a woman, and the two main online communities critical of Ragen (Reddit’s /r/fatlogic and GOMI) are majority female and almost exclusively female, respectively.

The problem is Ragen intersperses the good with liberal doses of pseudoscience and shockingly poor medical advice, and constantly misleads or tells flat out lies about her credentials, achievements, and experiences. She has built a career around denying the health effects of obesity while pretending to be an elite professional athlete, through speaking engagements and assorted moneymaking schemes. That’s what this blog is about, and discussing it shouldn’t detract from the message that fat people are human beings, despite what Ragen claims.

Ragen Chastain is a Hypocrite

This will be a short post because the evidence mostly speaks for itself. In recent weeks, Ragen has been riding the wave of success after her disastrous IRONMAN attempt by framing herself as a victim of harassment and stalking. However, on numerous occasions Ragen herself has instructed her blog readers to harass individuals and contact their employers and accrediting organizations, or leave fake business reviews to affect their income. When Ragen organizes harassment, it’s an “activism opportunity”, but when someone voices their concerns or expresses criticism to Ragen or her employers (an allegation we note remains unproven), it’s “stalking”. Here are a few examples of Ragen’s hypocrisy, though there are many others over the last few years. We will not be linking to the posts themselves because the contact information is still up in all cases.

In 2012, Ragen participated in a radio interview with a doctor and a personal trainer. The PT very reasonably told Ragen normal everyday activities like tying shoes or climbing stairs become “vigorous” when an individual is hundreds of pounds overweight. He also made the mistake of questioning her dancing abilities and credentials. Ragen denied everything during the interview, then immediately got on her blog and pretended the trainer had claimed she was unable to tie her shoes or climb stairs, and that he was a “bigot” who hated fat people. She gave his email address and instructed her readers to harass him.


In 2015, Ragen really stepped up her “activism” game. In February, she instructed her readers to contact a “fat shaming” dance company on Facebook and leave fake reviews for them on Yelp and Google.

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In May, a fitness instructor posted an anonymous photo of a woman in public and counted the calories of everything she ate during a football game. A writer wrote a fictional reply to him. Ragen posted contact and social media information for both men and instructed her readers to make complaints to the fitness instructor’s accrediting institute.

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In July, a doctor posted a “fat shaming” video about his experiences with obese patients. Ragen immediately identified an “activism opportunity” and instructed her followers to harass him by email, Twitter, and Facebook, as well as contacting web sites that share his videos. She also posted his employer’s contact information and instructions on how to make complaints to the California Medical Board using his license number.

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What it really means to be harassed and stalked…

I hesitated putting this story on this blog because it doesn’t necessarily fit with the subject matter, but there were two very sad and scary comments on Ironfactchecker’s last blog that kind of indicated to me that maybe it needs to be put out there that some of us aren’t strangers to being harassed and stalked “IRL.” I have been through these situations and know how terrifying it can be. Perhaps certain other people have as well, but my experience was such that I would never so casually mention it on a blog for sympathy, that I would never not report it to the police, and that in fact, actions are long colored by threats, before, during and after they take place. Please keep in my that I’m not doing this for sympathy now, rather a statement of fact of how these situations are not simple, they are terrifying and the effects of being truly harassed last a lifetime.

In early 1996, my uncle showed up on my parents’ doorstep claiming he was suicidal because his wife had just left him. Despite this uncle’s long history with mental illness, delusion, malingering, outright scamming and odd behavior (as a frame of reference he sold every MLM product he could get his hands on, fell for every get rich quick/self-improvement scheme there was, claimed he was psychic, had been a Scientologist and scammed people, welfare and unemployment—my experiences with him are probably why I am so fascinated with the subject matter of this blog), my parents took him in.

About this same time my dad finally decided that he had worked long and hard his entire life and was willing to finally make an investment of his lifelong dream of becoming a private pilot. Together, he and I bought a dual seat ultra light airplane, this in addition to his flying lessons on more traditional airplanes. It was a natural fit for me as well, as I was already in ROTC/Civil Air Patrol sponsored flying lessons, and he and I were emerging from a long rocky patch that had put a wall between us since I was about 17. It was truly a great time for us as we would spend long hours flying the plane (we skirted the FAA rules because although the plane was an ultralight, dual seat flying still required a PPL), working on it, talking about it, and bonding over it.

At the house, for the first time in my memory my uncle seemed normal. He was getting through his divorce, he was planning to restart his business, and he would spend long hours cross-country skiing to clear his head. And then one day he burst into the house with manic energy, “There has been an ultralight airplane crash in Arizona!” But as I recall, his tone was not sad, it was not one of concern or warning, but rather just information. Then he started asking odd questions over the dinner table like “How often do ultralights crash as opposed to normal airplanes?” and “Since ultralights aren’t fully regulated by the FAA, who would investigate the crash?” He also was very curious about days I would not be flying with my dad, and in fact I saw him show up at the small airport one day he was not expecting me there. On that day I actually saw him stop at the entrance, watch our activities, and then leave. When I asked him about it later, he said that he forgot he had an appointment and had to leave without saying hello. He was “OK” for a while but, in early March his business again failed and his behavior became as odd as it ever had been. What I remember most is that he began to talk about an MLM “grape seed extract” product he was selling that was supposed to cure everything from Alzheimer’s to athlete’s foot, and he would loudly proclaim that his days of being depressed were over and he had stopped taking his medication. Although I was not privy to the conversations, my parents were again concerned about his actions and made plans with other family members to help move him out.

On March 24th, I was out-of-town with a girlfriend and received a frantic call from my mom that simply said “your dad was just killed in the ultralight.” I drove home as fast as I could, not wanting to believe the news, but when I pulled into my parents’ driveway the massive amount of cars only confirmed what I didn’t want to believe. The house was pure panic, people I hadn’t seen in forever were there—in fact just about every family member I knew was there—all except my uncle. Later I found out he had not spent the night at their house (the first time since he had moved in back in January), he had not been seen the entire morning and later in the afternoon came into the house after most people gone home. I was so exhausted from the events of the day that I have no real memory of his behavior, only that it didn’t sit right with me.

As much as we tried to come together as a family, this uncle did everything he could to divide us. He got drunk and made a huge scene at the wake, actually “firing” one of my parents’ employees while proclaiming “I’m in charge now!” He told my mom flat-out that he was taking my dad’s spot at the business and completely took advantage of her grief and tried to change things they had done for 25 years. In our shock, my brother and I took comfort that someone was doing something but when employees who had worked for the business for 20 years walked out, we shook my mom into reality and forced her to tone down this uncle’s behavior at work. Very fortunately, the employees all came back. Unfortunately my uncle then turned his sights on turning my Mom against my brother, claiming that he had seen evidence of hard drugs in my brothers possession, that a friend of his saw my brother dealing in a bad part of town, and that my brother should be cut from the family.

In the background of all this, the FAA told us they did not have authority to investigate and would have to leave the crash to the NTSB and Tribal police (the crash happened on Indian land north of the city). All the NTSB was willing to do was say that it was “likely wind shear, coupled with pilot inexperience and possible equipment malfunction” but this was only for statistical purposes. So unlike what happens when major airplanes crash, there was no one poring over the crash site, no CID-like analysis on parts, and a very select set of short interviews with other pilots who had been around that day. What always bugged me about the results was that my dad had been flying in a loose formation with about 4-5 other ultralight airplanes, and while the weather was turning bad and they were turning to the airport, none of the others had been affected by the wind shear. My dad had been in tail position so no one actually saw him crash, but after a 25 year involvement in professional and recreational aviation, I still have a trouble accepting wind shear as the likely cause based on the geography of the crash site and the lack of effects on the other airplanes.

When my Mom started to recover ever so slightly from her grief, she took an authoritative stance with my uncle and said he could work at the business but that she was the boss. This actually sent my uncle into a rage, and one evening he physically attacked my mom, throwing a plate at her and choking her with two hands. I happened to be driving up the house with a family friend just as I saw my mom come screaming out of the front door saying “he’s trying to kill me, he just attacked me!” Our friend and I rushed into the house, subdued my uncle as best we could, and got him to his car while my mom called 911. I have never seen such rage and hatred in one person’s eyes. As he was fighting us he kept screaming “you’re going to know the truth white boy, she did this, she brought all this on.” Once it was clear the sheriff was coming, he got into his car and raced off. They put out an APB because he may have had a gun and he was likely under the influence, but to this day I don’t know if they arrested him. A sheriff’s deputy spent the night parked at the entrance to the semi-rural dirt road and he never came back that night. My brother and I and other family friends insisted on an immediate restraining order but my Mom’s other brother and sisters talked her out of it saying they would take care of it, they would get him church counseling and they would make him apologize. A long simmering split with my mom’s family erupted that night as I was utterly flabbergasted at what they were suggesting. My mom agreed with them, but I told them I never wanted an apology and never wanted to see him again, and after I was hit in the face with a steel door stopper he threw on his way out, I wouldn’t hesitate for a second to defend myself.

Then the phone calls started…

Hang ups, heavy breathing, laughter at first. All from pay phones made to my apartment, my mom’s house and my brother’s dorm. I hastily moved home with my mom and we again called the sheriff, but since they couldn’t prove it was him they couldn’t do anything. Their advice was to simply wait… someone like him will always mess up because we weren’t giving him the reaction he wanted by hanging up.

And sure enough, the messages started…

“Your boys are going to HATE you when I reveal the truth about you!”

“An ultralight crash in Kansas, so sad, but stupid don’t you think?”

“How are the dogs feeling? You know they still trust me right?”

“How is your fag son doing? You know tract marks never go away. Wonder if it will be the dealers to kill him or someone else?”

“I saw your girlfriend coming out of her apartment; she always liked me you know.”

Finally we had more than enough evidence to get an immediate, but temporary restraining order for my Mom, brother, girlfriend and myself. Because of the threatening nature of the calls, the magistrate fast tracked it to a judge. I don’t remember the exact timeline from temporary restraining order to the hearing, but I do remember hoping he wouldn’t have the balls to show up. But he did, with my mom’s other brother. The judge hit “play” on the phone recorder, listened to just one of the messages, and said she had more than enough evidence to issue a permanent restraining order. My uncle then began howling in the judge’s chambers that my parents’ business had been promised to him, that he had done so much, that the calls were being taken out of the context, and that it was actually my brother and I that had been threatening him “all over town.” The judge told him to be quiet, which he did, and asked us to leave and wait out in the hall so she could talk to both parties individually about the consequences of the restraining order. As he came out of her chambers. he began screaming at us. My “IRL” stalker and harasser had a permanent restraining order for 15 minutes and had already violated it. The bailiff arrested him on the spot, but I have no idea what happened after that because we were never asked to testify against him. That was the last time I saw him.

He was apparently able to calm himself down with regards to us and we didn’t hear anything about him for about a year. In fact I’m not even sure how we found out that my uncle took his own life with a shotgun. We had become almost completely estranged from my mom’s side of the family and I remember feeling no remorse for him being gone then, as I feel no remorse for it now. It was and is a sense of ultimate relief.

A few years later, I had two very chance encounters. I happened to see a cousin from my Mom’s side at a restaurant who sat with me and caught up for a while. He was sad about my uncle, and probably didn’t know all that had happened between us. I was little taken aback when he asked me something like “Don’t you wonder what he confessed in his suicide letter?” I told him I wasn’t sure what he was talking about and he said “Oh yeah, apparently there was note where he full-out confessed all the terrible things he had done but that Jack (the oldest brother) had thought it was so damaging to the family he destroyed it without letting anyone see it.” That piqued my curiosity of course, but not nearly enough to re-initiate contact with my Mom’s family—my Mom had tried to talk to my other uncle after my Grandma died but was accused of just coming around for money—to this day she deals with issues of closure, guilt and a sense of abandonment.

The other time I ran into a very nice member of the airport flying club my dad and I had belonged to. He remembered me well and said he missed all of us; “you, your dad and your brother who used to come help me work on my plane but never flew with us.” I told him I doubted it was my brother because he had been on our university lacrosse team and didn’t really have time for flying, but did he remember his name? When he said my uncle’s name all the coincidences and circumstantial happenings immediately began to stack up in my brain. And it stuck in my head that my uncle killed my dad. He had a method and access, he gambled there wouldn’t be a thorough investigation, he wanted me away, and he had been absent from the house the day prior. He had a motive, his business had failed, and his actions in the mere days after my dad’s death showed that he fully expected to be given control of my parents’ business. To me his harassment after he was kicked out of the house indicates he has some extreme misgivings about how his plan didn’t work, and was really trying to stick the knife in and make it hurt worse in his psychotic way of self comfort. And he possibly confessed, but his brother who had always been his savior chose to keep the horrible truth away from the rest of us. My mom and I spoke with the tribal police who did agree to open an investigation but once they found out my uncle was dead they said there was no real evidence remaining and the only possible suspect was dead anyways. The truth died with him and the destruction of the possible suicide letter, but all these years later the possibilities play in my head daily. I waver back and forth still, but I typically stand at about a 60-40 chance that my uncle murdered my dad.

THAT is what it is like to live “IRL” with a person who stalked and harassed you.