My last post before Tempe…and my last post on this blog.

Hey everyone…a week from today and this long, long drama will have met one very significant milestone and a lot of information will be undeniably set on the table. Like everyone else reading this blog I am very curious as to how it’s going to turn out.

As for me and my race, I have not trained enough, I am very scared of the start with the open water swim and a little concerned about panicking in the middle of the crowd. Plus, I am far “heavier” than I would like to be going into the most challenging physical event I will have ever attempted. It has a very hot “fall” for Arizona this year so the heat has me a bit concerned (although it’s nicely overcast today so I really hope that holds). Mentally, I have a real fear of failure so it’s very hard for me to not make an excuse and just pull out of the race and not have to face failure of not finishing.

The reality is this; my kids are old enough now to recognize whether or not I quit with an excuse or failed while trying. When I was in basic training, every morning our Cadet Officer used to read us the “Man in the Arena” quote by Teddy Roosevelt (the real one, not the truncated and customized version Ragen used to fit her narrative) and thats how I want my kids to attack life, and thats how I want them to see me. I have long dreams of being a triathlete that predate my involvement with  “counter fat activism.” I said it  a long time ago on this blog, I have done short course races, duathlons and many “training” triathlons but if I ever want to do more and bigger races, it starts on Sunday. Prepared or not, excuses or not, finish or not, I will be in the water when my wave starts. What happens after that is immaterial at this point and will be a lesson learned for any future triathlon endeavors. I’m thinking very hard about doing another half iron-distance race in June and I’m already signed up to volunteer at the full IMAZ in November to secure my spot in the 2016 race.

But this will be my last update here on this blog. I am pretty good friends with the other two people who run this blog in the “outside world” and they know my name and can keep track of my progress during the race. Without any other way to say it, Ragen has scared me in the last few months. With the talk of this mysterious “map” that supposedly leads to her house and her repeated talk of death and rape threats, in my opinion, she is someone who is willing to say and do anything in order to get herself attention and get other people in serious trouble. By pure coincidence, I happened to meet a person who has had personal interactions with Ragen, and by their account, she is just as odd and unpredictable in person as she seems to be online. I do not want to be a face or name that she can connect with her accusations or delusions. I do not want to mince words and want it on record that I am absolutely no threat to Ragen and will go out of my way to avoid her should I see her in Tempe. I am not there for snark, I am not there to impede her or interact with her in any way. Furthermore, I am a stay at home parent for the foreseeable future but because of my work history, any future employment will likely involve background checks and I do not want to have to explain that some delusional blogger once accused me of god knows what because they were trying to score sympathy points with their equally delusional followers. No matter how victimized some of the prominent Fat Activists say they are, there are three of them (none of whom are Ragen) in particular who have been absolutely vicious when it comes to attempting to ruin people’s personal lives after rather innocuous online interactions. In my opinion, I don’t think any of them care enough to try and connect the dots to me, but at the same time I would have never thought that a very prominent FA “blogger” would reveal IP and home addresses of the people who make comments on her blog like “I lost 100lbs with calories in/calories out.”

For this reason I am not going to share any of my times or stats on this blog because I just don’t want any way to tie things back to me. I will certainly be in touch with Ironfactchecker after the race and I certainly don’t mind him giving a rundown of “good, bad, not finished, etc…” and maybe even posting some of the pics I send him. I have known Ironfactchecker outside of online interactions since the beginning of the year and have found him to be a person of impeccable integrity, high intelligence and an absolute wizard at finding data on the net. So while I am not going to reveal anything that could tie this blog to my personal world, you can trust that what he will tell you will be the absolute truth…because that’s what I’m going to tell him (and because he would find it anyways).

Thank you all for reading my portion of this blog and thank you to Ironfactchecker and TruthaboutRagen for all they have done to keep this site up. Less than a week to go…

27 thoughts on “My last post before Tempe…and my last post on this blog.

  1. I have enjoyed your updates and you will be missed, but I completely understand your position. I’m sure I’m not the only one who would be disappointed if we didn’t get at least some kind of rundown on your thoughts after the event.

    Good luck at Tempe!

  2. You will most definitely be missed! And, while I really appreciate your diligence and efforts to hold Ragen accountable, I don’t blame you a bit for moving on and minimizing the risk of winding up in her crosshairs. As for Tempe, you’re putting yourself out there and taking a shot, so regardless of how you finish, you will NOT have failed. Best of luck!

  3. Good luck! I have enjoyed you sharing your training plan and struggles, and I wish you all the best in future triathlon endeavours!

  4. Have a great race! I’m sure you will give it your best effort, which is all anyone can do (well, anyone who isn’t delusional…).
    Your insightful posts have done a good job of bringing a little truth into this whole insane situation.

  5. Good luck! I understand your reasons for saying farewell, but thank you for your posts the last few months. They’ve been a laugh and an inspiration and no matter how you do on Sunday, you’re awesome.

  6. Can someone explain the situation with a person being doxxed for saying they had lost 100 lbs? This is new to me. (I probably missed the reddit post about it.)

    • When a certain fat activist was more involved in her own personal blog, she would post the ip addresses of anyone who disagreed with her. She became so incensed at one comment sections repeated insistence that CICO worked that the last poor lucky soul who commented got a full dox job. All of this is still online and easily found with the right searches.

  7. For the swim: start at the back of your wave, and when the gun goes off, wait a few seconds before you start. Literally, count to 20 or something. And THEN start. You’ll have some open space, at least for the first several minutes. Good luck, and thanks for your input in this blog.

  8. Thank you for all your contributions to this blog. You’ve done a good thing.

    But more importantly, good luck this weekend. We’ll be thinking about you!

  9. I read your post and felt inclined to comment.

    I used to comment more on the Ragen sub plus the FL sub, but as the crash has come to the point of inevitable impact, well we all know what’s in store. In addition to this, like you I’ve had changes in personal circumstances and so on so have less time to write (I prefer to spend that time training and planning).

    Good luck for Sunday. It’ll be epic no matter what happens and something to be proud of if you’re prepared. The pre-fear is something everyone gets regardless of distance, form or fitness. It’s the foreplay to the event and makes the climax worth it even more. The difference is you accept that, Ragen will get a very bitter shock. Reading your words reminds me of my motivations and emotions.

    While Ragen has been blogging her IRONFAT journey (why the fuck does she insist it’s an acronym?) I’ve raced 4 major races, numerous sportives both solo and as a tandem team, hit over 200 miles in a single ride, scored an imperial century in under 4.5 hours, seen sunrises, sunsets, wild life, mountain passes, eaten pasties and pies, laughed, cried, 2 cases of mild hyperthermia, night rides, worn out two sets of high end rubber, ridden solos’ and I’ve chased by 200 people on my wheel. I’ve loved every second of it.

    I too have had Ragen inspire me to push me further – way further – and as such I’ve been getting increasingly cautious of doxxers. I have a fund raising event I want to aim for next summer (I don’t often fund raise). I want to do it for a charity – nothing that’s actually affecting me. In kick back to Ragen, I’m going to raise money for a charity with a genetic factor and separate to human lifestyles. Although I value the importance of diabetes charities in respect to type 1, I can’t see why I should help type 2 when the biggest know factor is lifestyle so don’t agree with raising money to correct peoples own self-inflicted problems when all of the causes are well known. I’ve heard and seen on my Facebook feed numerous “5km for XYZ charity” and often thought “where’s the challenge there? Why should I give my cash?” so inspired by Steve Abraham, I’ve set myself a very high target that’ll take me way past my limit – and into a small club of cyclists who get up to those kinds of distances.

    To do this, I’m going to push my body far further than I have done before and I have my companies support. They help with fund raising on my behalf and get other involved. In addition, I am offering a UK University complete access to my training, physiology and psychology for testing on the run up and during the event. They will have full access to my GPS data, food diary, equipment choices, training plans, the lot. I do my usual commutes, races and sportives, but with a lot of extra solo work. Until next summer I will be an all access labrat. My body will change somewhat. My mind may get trashed. But I want to see what my physical limit is. And like you, my target gives me the fear. Even 8 months out.

    I want to declare all, but I want to do it after the event.

    Good luck for Sunday. Thank you for making the blog what it is and go for the IM! Do it right and it’ll be less than 16 hours of your life to tell for the next 40 plus years.

      • It’s likely I am who you think I am. Good luck for tomorrow.

        When I hit my training target next year, settle the charity money and so on, I’ll be more than happy to blow all my cover, reveal training plans, Strava data, Garmin tracks, nutritional and supplement information, routes, emotions then lot – plus I already have a 2017 target on the horizon. But in a world where >60% are overweight or obese, should I bias their view against giving to a charitable cause which is removed from their own lifestyles and mine because I’ve blogged and comment against their own comfort zones, that could make a major dent in what I could potentially raise.

        I’m sure in real life we would have a fair bit of (none Ragen related) common ground to chat about.

  10. I hope you have a successful triathlon on Sunday. This is a significant challenge, and congrats to you for even attempting this.

  11. Not sure if you are reading replies still but in case you are I was moved to say something.

    Go out in that water and find your pace and do your thing. That’s it. That’s all you need to do. You’ll get a distance and a time whether you finish the whole thing or not. That becomes your goal to exceed the next time.

    Because you know what? That’s how these things always are. No one ever wins to the point of absolute happiness. Humans just aren’t built that way. We quickly turn around and say: Hey, I need to beat that time. I need to climb that other stupid mountain. Even if we came in first bloody place. We still do that. That’s “winning”.

    So, please be kind to yourself and get in the water and swim what you’ve got to swim and record your time and distance and be exactly like all the people who are there. Say, I’m going to do better next time. You are exactly like everyone else who got up the balls to start the race. You aren’t like the rest of us lazy fucks who didn’t. You already bloody won by starting.

    • I am definitely still reading the replies! Everyone has been awesome and its been really cool to see some old “friends” from reddit I haven’t seen in a while. Thank you very much for the tips they are very much appreciated. We are getting ready to head up to Tempe tomorrow after my kids football game so just trying to keep my head where it needs to be.

      Posts like yours are why I am going to start a “serious” training blog next time around that has nothing to do with Ragen. This has really been a “family” affair and in a lot of ways it’s not fair to to my family that I chose not to talk about and document their contributions to effort. And the race half Iron Distance race (a non WTC event) I’m looking at doing in June has a kids race and since my kids swim anyways, I’m really hoping to get them excited about racing and they love seeing their achievements on the internet. Plus I didn’t go into as much detail as I would have liked because ultimately this blog is focused on someone who I think dangerous (which incidentally is also why it exists). How I roll that out and announce it to the very cool people like you who have been so inspirational is something I’m still mulling around in my head…

      Thank you again!

  12. […] In her IRONMAN race report, Ragen claims a mysterious Redditor approached her and had a “creepy” conversation, then later speculates in “paranoia” the same Redditor may have assaulted her during the swim. She implies the mystery man is one of the authors of this blog and refers to him as a “stalker”, which prompted enormous concern from her followers, and calls to contact the police for her personal safety. Based on photos and accounts from several sources, Ragen spent the entire morning being followed by a camera crew recording everything she did, yet she can provide no evidence of this interaction, and fails to even mention the camera crew in any of her IRONMAN posts. In this case, Ragen’s response to criticism is to make vague allegations of extremely serious illegal activities to silence her critics, exactly as predicted beforehand. […]

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